How to Ask a Girl Out if You Are Afraid of Getting Rejected
Try approaching asking a girl as if you
are building a fire. The girls you meet are the kindling, the spark is
the connection between you and the girl, and blowing on the fire is you
asking the girl out. But without the spark, you will be disappointed
every time. Many guys make the mistake of asking a girl out right away,
which works for some; but to avoid rejection, you must learn to read the
signs.
In Person
Step 1
Talk to the girl. Get to know her a
little and let her get to know you. Read any signs that she might be
interested in you. For example, she may smile a lot and ask you
questions. If she is responding to you abruptly, then you should stop
here and look for another girl.
Step 2
Tell her about what you are doing in
the next couple hours. Say, "I am going to the market, if you want to
join me." An open-ended question like this will make her feel at ease
and it isn't exactly asking her out, so you can avoid any pain if she
says "No."
Step 3
Get to know her a bit more if she
comes to the market, or wherever, with you. Ask her about her job,
school or her hobbies. Listen to her intently and allow her to speak
until she is done. Respond to any question she might have, which is an
indication she might be interested in you, or at least that she has
social skills. If she doesn't ask you a question, tell her something
about yourself that relates to the conversation, such as about your
employment, school or hobbies.
Step 4
Inch a bit closer to her to see
whether she moves closer, stays put or moves away. If she moves closer,
she almost certainly likes you; if she stays put, she may like you; and
if she moves away, she might not like you.
Step 5
Use the signs in Step 3 to determine
whether to ask her out on a date. Physical contact is a major
indication about whether what you have is more than friendship, so use
physicality as an indication about whether to ask for a date. Ask her to
do something fun with you, such as get ice cream at the beach.
Online
Step 1
Write a short message asking her how she is doing. This can be over a social networking site or though email.
Step 2
Wait for a response. If she responds
and asks you a question back, she is indicating she wants to keep the
communication going. If she doesn't respond, stop here and move on.
Step 3
Write a slightly longer email
answering her question and then ask her another question to indicate
that you want her to respond. Make this message about one paragraph. If
she doesn't respond, stop.
Step 4
Wait for her response and then see
if it is longer and if it asks you another question. At this point, it
is clear that she is interested in you, perhaps in a romantic way. Stop
if she doesn't respond.
Step 5
Ask her to hang out with you. Keep
it simple or ask her to a movie, where you can spend time together but
don't really have to talk. Movies rarely have a chance to be awkward and
time available for conversation is so short that it is difficult to dry
up.
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